my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.
My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.
this is my favorite post on tumblr currently
If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.
Why the fuck would I do that
So one time, one of my guy friends said, “I’m pretty sure I’m straight but I’ve never slept with a man so how do I know for sure if I’m not bisexual or gay” and so he actually went and picked up a guy, had sex with him and after ward he said, “Well that was fun but I appear to be straight.” and just went on with his life without making a big deal about his dip into homosexuality and really, I think everybody should be this relaxed about sexualities
- Aries: Messy, messy, messy. 'The chair' (you know which chair I'm talking about) has probably disappeared among all their clothes. Theory is that it probably fused to the ground.
- Taurus: They have an ingrained connection with every single one of their posessions. They know you moved that sock 0.2 meters to the left don't deny it.
- Gemini: Where's the floor? No one knows anymore. When they magically decide to clean up, it's like christmas morning when they find something they don't even remember having. Then, they get distracted by said thing and forget about cleaning up.
- Cancer: Their room is their sanctuary. Probably going through an ant invasion because of all the food they eat there. Most likely to have a secret food stash.
- Leo: Usually organized, though they can be lazy. They probably don't move enough to have a mess.
- Virgo: Same as Taurus. Like the Eye of Sauron, they know everything that goes down there.They go into phases in which everything is probably color coded. They get lazy and give up a few weeks later when no one notices.
- Libra: Probably unlivable until they decide Today is the Day and organize everything. They get bored halfway through and go back to feeling sorry for themselves because their rooms aren't pretty.
- Scorpio: The walls are full with their interests. The mess control is manageable. Once you go in, it might be too dark to find your way out.
- Sagittarius: Doesn't care at all about mess. Until they see someone else's clean room and their competitive gene appears. Soon it dies down and they go back to not caring.
- Capricorn: Puts everyone else's to shame. Mostly, because like Leo, they are not naturally messy. Can be OCD about their space.
- Aquarius: Their interests are also everywhere. They sleep next to their laptop. Their desk is no man's land.
- Pisces: Clutter is their natural habitat. They probably don't remember the last time they turned on the lights. The windows have never been opened. An excavation team is needed to find the floor. Until people come over, then it's DEFCON 4 and everything is either organized or hidden.